Bad Parrot

Mrs. Keller had a very talented parrot.  At her dinner parties he
was the center of attention, for she had trained him to repeat what the
butler said when he announced the guests as the arrived.

The parrot had only one failing: He loved to fuck chickens.  Every
chance he got, he would fly over the fence into the yard of the farmer next
door and fuck his chickens.

The farmer complained to Mrs. Keller, and finally she laid the law
down to the parrot.

"Bertram," she said, "you better listen to me!  The next time you go
into Farmer Whalen's yard and fuck another chicken I'm going to punish you
plenty!"

The parrot hung his head to show he understood.  But ten days later,
he couldn't resist temptation and over the fence he went.  He was deep into
screwing his third hen when Farmer Whalen spotted him and chased him.
Whalen complained again to Mrs. Keller.

"Now you're going to get!" she said.  She got a pair of barber's
shears and clipped all the feathers from the top of the parrot's head.

That night, Mrs. Keller threw one of her gala parties.  She put the
parrot on top of the piano.

"Bertram," she said, "you've been a rotten old thing.  tonight
you're to sit here all night.  No wandering around and no playing the way
you usually do!"

And so, feeling rather disconsolate, the parrot sat on the piano.
As the butler announced the guests, Bertram performed as usual, repeating
the names.  The butler said, "Mr. Arnold Levy and Lady Stella," and the
parrot said,  "Mr. Arnold Levy and Lady Stella."  The butler said, "Mr. and
Mrs. Robert Salomon," and the parrot said, "Mr. and Mrs. Robert Salomon."
Then two bald-headed men entered the room.  Without waiting for the butler to
announce them, the parrot shouted: "All right, you chicken-fuckers!  Up here
on the piano with me!"