WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?

Star Wars

Lando Calrissian:  
Well, well... What have we here? A chicken? Mmmm you truly belong here on my plate!

Cantina Bartender: 
We don't serve their kind in here. Your chickens they'll have to wait across the street.

C3PO: 
(1) Sir, may I remind you that I am fluent in 6,000,000 forms of communication and  
    this chicken has not... shutting up, sir.
(2) Sir, according to my calculations, the odds of a chicken successfully navigating 
    a road are 3,750 to 1 against.
(3) Oh, splendid! We are now a part of the flock!

Boba Fett: 
What if he doesn't survive the crossing? He's worth a lot to me!

Princess Leia: 
(1) Chicken? I thought I recognized your fowl scent I was brought aboard!
(2) The tighter your grasp, the more chickens will slip through your feathers!

Jabba the Hut: 
I have little use for chickens who drop their eggs at first sign of a cross-walk.

Obi Wan Kenobi: 
(1) The Force was strong with him.
(2) To follow old obi wan on some damn fool idealistic crusade.

R2D2: 
beep bleep be deep birp whirrrrrrrrr!

Luke Skywalker: 
(1) But Uncle Owen, Biggs got to go to the Academy, so did that chicken!
(2) You chickens sure have a lot of rubber scoring.. you must have seen                    
    a lot of road action!
(3) But how am I to know to the Good Side of the Road from the Bad?

Han Solo: 
(1) Crossing roads aint like dustin' crops, chicken! There's lot of precise 
    calculations. You could walk right into a Starrion, bounce to close to a 
    Chevy Nova, and that would end your trip real fast
(2) I have a bad feeling about this chicken.

Stormtrooper:  
We don't need to see his feathers... He's not the chicken we're looking for... 
He can go about his road-crossing... Move along...Move along...

Darth Vader: 
(1) She was seduced by the dark side of the road.
(2) The circle is now comlete. When I left you, I was a chick... Now, I am the 
    rooster!
(3) The Empire will compensate you if he's squashed.
(4) Because it could not resist the power of the Dark Side.
(5) Chicken? So! You have a pet chicken! Obi-Wan was wise to hide it across the 
    street. Now his failure is complete! If you will not cross to the Dark Side 
    of the road, then perhaps IT will!

Yoda: 
(1) Crossing the road makes not a chicken great
(2) Roads? What know you of roads? For 800 years have I trained chickens; my own counsel 
    I will keep on why they cross!
(3) This chicken, long time have I watched. Always looking away to the crossing the road! 
    Never his mind on WHERE HE WAS! Allante! Hah! El Dorado! Hmph! A chicken has not use 
    for things such as these
(4) Do not under-estimate the powers of the road, or suffer the butcher's block you will!

George Lucas : 
(1) Because the Force was with it.
(2) You'll have to wait for the next set of movies, 1-3, to find out the real 
    reason why the chicken crossed. The whole point of the current releases, 
    4-6, is the story of the chicken's redemption crossing.
(3) I originally planned to have a chicken army attack the Stormtroopers on 
    Endor, but the AT-AT walkers kept squishing them
(4) The first chicken crossing scene was underbudget and rushed, so I've used 
    ILM's digital editors to add several more cars and also a school bus, which has 
    nothing to do with story, but I thought looked really cool. The sound effects 
    have been bolstered by the folks at my THX studio, and now, for the first time, 
    you can hear the chicken scream, even though chickens don't really scream, but 
    the sound, I find, helps set the tone of the scene. The chicken itself has been 
    re-created from old footage. We had to edit out the original road and replace it 
    with an updated digital road. It looks nothing like the other roads in the film,
    but that's okay because I wanted to show the hustle and bustle of a real super-
    highway, full of the action and of the grand scale that the fans really deserve. 
    The chicken's blaster effects have been improved; now you can clearly see that 
    the Dodge shoots first, making the chicken look less like a cold-blooded killer. 
    That the Dodge missed by about seven feet, even though they were only a lane 
    apart, and that the Dodge had the draw and plenty of time to aim, merely 
    demonstrates the chicken's skill.  All in all, the scene is about ten minutes 
    longer, which is still shorter than I originally envisioned, but I felt that 
    adding any more might break the flow of the story. Now the fans can see the 
    chicken cross the road the way it was meant to be seen, on the big screen.

John Williams:  
I'll have to thoroughly research the chicken's musical background before I can  
compose a road-crossing theme.

And one Star Trek

Mr. Scott:  
'Cos ma wee transporter beam was na functioning properly. Ah canna work miracles, 
 Captain, wi' no dilithium crystals left to speak of!