None Here Either!

A Scotsman was on holiday in the depths of Louisiana, where he tried to buy some 
alligator shoes.  However he was not prepared to pay the high prices, and after having 
failed to haggle the vendor down to a reasonable price level, ended up shouting "I don't 
give two hoots for your shoes, man, I'll go and kill my own alligator!". 

To which the shopkeeper replied, "by all means, just watch out for them two blonde ladies 
who are doing the same!"

So the man went out into the Bayou, and after a while saw two blondes with spears, standing 
still in the water.  "They must be the ones the shopkeeper told me about," he thought.  Just 
at that point he noticed an alligator moving in the water towards one of them.  The blondes 
stood completely passive, even as the gator came ever closer.  Just as the beast was about to 
swallow her, the blonde struck home with a spear and killed the brute.  With a little helped 
from her friend, she wrestled the gator up onto the beach, where several already lay.

Together the two blondes threw the gator onto its back, where-upon one exclaimed "Damn! This 
one doesn't have any shoes either!"