Q:   Why do blondes wear tight skirts?
A:   To keep their legs together.
Q:   Why did the blonde keep ice cubes in the freezer?
A:   So she could keep the refrigerator cold.
Q:   Why did the blonde give up bowling for screwing?
A:   The balls are lighter, and you don't have to change shoes.
Q:   Why did the blonde get fired from the sperm bank?
A:   Her employer found out she was embezzling.
Q:   How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto
     Maple Leafs?
A:   She fell out of the tree.
Q:   HOW MANY BLONDES DOES IT TAKE TO SCREW IN A LIGHTBULB?
A:   Blondes screw in back seats, not in lightbulbs, silly.
Q:   What do you call a blonde without an asshole?
A:   Divorced.
Q:   How many blondes does it take to make a circuit?
A:   Two, One to stand in the bathtub, and another to pass her the
     blow dryer!
Q:   How is a blonde like a postage stamp?
A:   You lick'm, stick'em, and send'em on their way.
Q:   How do you describe 3 prostitutes and a blonde?
A:   Ho, Ho, Ho, and to all a good night.
Q:   How did the blonde try to kill the bird?
A:   She threw it off a cliff.
Q:   How did the blonde break her leg raking leaves?
A:   She fell out of the tree.
Q:   How did the blonde die drinking milk?
A:   The cow fell on her.
Q:   How did the blonde burn her nose?
A:   Bobbing for french fries.
Q:   How can you tell which blonde is the waitress?
A:   She is the one with the tampon behind her ear, wondering what she did 
     with her pencil.
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde's been using the computer?
A:   There's white-out on the screen.
Q:   How can you tell if another blonde's been using the computer?
A:   There's writing on the white-out.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a computer?
A:   You only have to punch information into a computer once.
Q:   What did the blonde think of the new computer?
A:   She didn't like it 'cos she couldn't get channel 9....
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde has been in your refrigerator?
A:   By the lipstick on your cucumbers.
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde works in an office?
A:   A bed in the stockroom and huge smiles on all the bosses' faces.
Q:   How can you tell when a FAX had been sent from a blonde?
A:   There is a stamp on it.
Q:   How can you tell if a blonde is a good cook?
A:   She gets the pop tarts out of the toaster in one piece.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A:   The blonde has the higher sperm count.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and the Panama Canal?
A:   The Panama Canal is a busy ditch.
Q:   What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and a
     blonde track team?
A:   The pygmies are a bunch of cunning runts.
Q:   What is the difference between a crazy fighting hockey player
     and a blonde?
A:   He is fussy by nature and would go to any length to get a puck.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a trampoline?
A:   You take off your shoes before using a trampoline.
Q:   What's the difference between Indiana and a blonde?
A:   A blonde has larger hills and deeper valleys.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a toothbrush?
A:   You don't let your best friend borrow your toothbrush.
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a shower?
A:   A shower has to be turned on to get wet.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and your job?
A:   Your job still sucks after 6 months.
Q:   What's the difference between a blond having her period and
     a terrorist?
A:   You can negotiate with a terrorist.
Q:   What is the difference between a blond and a toilet?
A:   A toilet won't follow you around after you use it.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a rooster?
A:   In the morning a rooster says, "Cock'll-doodl-doooo", while a
     blonde says, "Any-cock'll-doooo."
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a limousine?
A:   Not everybody has been in a limo.
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and a bowling ball?
A1:  You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.
A2:  You can't fit the blonde in the bowling ball.
A3:  There is no difference. They're both round and have three holes to poke.
A4:  You don't eat your bowling ball
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and the Grand Old Duke of
     York?
A:   The Grand Old Duke of York only 'had' 10000 men.
Q:   What's the difference between a pit bull and a blonde with PMT
A:   Lipstick.
Q:   Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?
A:   You can park in the handicap zone.
Q:   Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A:   They both get fucked up when they're on their back.
Q:   Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A:   It takes too long to retrain them.
Q:   Why does NASA hire peroxide blondes?
A:   They're doing research on black holes.
Q:   Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?
A:   So she can have a doggie bag for later.
Q:   Why do men like blonde jokes??
A:   Because they can understand them.
Q:   Why do blondes always drink with straws?
A:   Practice.
Q:   Why do all blondes all have a dimple on their chin and a flat forehead?
A:   Finger on chin-I don't know. Hits forehead-Oh I get it!
Q:   Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
A:   From eating with forks.
Q:   Why do blondes have more fun?
A1:  Because they don't know any better.
A2:  They are easier to keep amused.
A3:  Because they are easier to find in the dark.
Q:   Why do blondes have legs?
A1:  So they don't get stuck to the ground.
A2:  To get between the bedroom and the kitchen.
A3:  So they don't leave trails, like little snails.
Q:   Why do blondes have two more brain cells than a cow?
A:   So that when you pull their tits, they don't moo.
A2:  So they don't shit everywhere when you pull their tits.
Q:   Why do blondes drive BMWs?
A:   Because they can spell it.
Q:   Why do blonde girls have trouble achieving orgasm?
A:   *Who cares?*
Q:   Why do blondes have periods?
A:   They deserve them
Q:   Why do blondes have big bellybuttons?
A:   From dating blonde men.
Q:   What does the postcard from a blond's vacation say?
A:   Having a wonderful time.  Where am I?
Q:   What do a blonde and a good beer have in common?
A:   They both go down easy.
Q:   What does a blonde and a tampon have in common?
A:   They're both stuck up c*nts!
Q:   Why do blondes wear tampons?
A:   Because crabs like Bungie Jumping too.
Q:   Why do blondes drive VW's
A:   Because they can't spell PORSCHE!!
Q:   Why do blondes put their hair in ponytails?
A:   To cover up the valve stem.
Q:   Why do blonds have square boobs?
A:   Because they forgot to take the tissues out of the box.
Q:   Why do Blondes take the pill?
A:   So they know what day of the week it is.
Q:   But why do brunettes take the pill ?
A:   Wishful Thinking.
Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shoes?
A:   Toes go in first.
Q:   Why do Blondes have TGIF on their shirts?
A:   Tits go in front.
Q:   Why do blondes like tilt steering?
A:   More head room.
Q:   Why do blondes drive cars with sunroofs?
A:   More leg room.
Q:   Why do blonds have orgasms ?
A:   So they know when to stop having sex !
Q:   Why do blondes wear underwear?
A:   They make good ankle warmers.
Q:   Why do Blondes like the GST? (GST -- Goods and Services Tax
     now in effect in Canada)
A:   Because they can spell it.
Q:   What is 74 to a blonde?
A:   69 plus G.S.T.
Q:   Why do blondes wear green lipstick?
A:   Because red means stop.
Q:   Why do blondes wear red lipstick?
A:   Because red means "Stop, wrong hole."
Q:   Why do blondes wear hoop earings?
A:   They have to have some place to rest their ankles.
Q:   Why do blondes wash their hair in the sink?
A:   Because, that's where you're supposed to wash vegetables!
Q:   Why do blondes wear their hair up?
A:   To catch as much as they can that is over their heads.
Q:   Why don't blondes eat bananas?
A:   They can't find the zipper.
Q:   Why don't blondes in San Francisco wear short black mini skirts?
A:   Cause their balls show!
Q:   Why don't blonds breast feed?
A:   Because they always burn their niples.
Q:   What important question does a blonde ask his/her mate before having sex?
A:   Do you want this by the hour, or the flat rate?
Q:   How many blondes does it take to change a lightbulb?
A1:  "What's a lightbulb?"
A2:  One. She holds the bulb and the world revolves around her.
A3:  Two. One to hold the Diet Pepsi, and one to call, "Daaady!"
Q:   What's a blonde's favourite wine?
A:   "Daaaady, I want to go to Miaaami!"
Q:   What is the difference between a blond and a 747?
A:   Not everyone has been in a 747
Q:   What do you call a blonde touching her toes?
A:   A brunette with bad breath.
Q:   Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, a dumb blonde, and a smart blonde are 
     walking down the street when they spot a $10 bill. Who picks it up?
A:   The dumb blonde! because, there is no such thing as Santa
     Claus, the tooth fairy, or a smart blonde.
A2:  None of them, three don't exist and the dumb blonde thought
     it was a gum wrapper.
Q:   If a blonde and a brunette are tossed off a building, who
     hits the ground first?
A1:  The brunette. The blonde has to stop to ask for directions.
A2:  The brunette. The blonde is such an air head.
Q:   What's the difference between a blonde and a Porsche?
A:   You don't lend the Porsche out to your friend.
Q:   What's the difference between a blond and an ice cream cone?
A:   Ice cream cones don't lick back.
Q:   What is the difference between butter and a blonde?
A:   Butter is difficult to spread.
Q:   What is the difference between a blonde and "The Titanic"?
A:   They know how many men went down on "The Titanic".
Q:   Why is a washing machine better than a blonde?
A:   Because you can drop your load in a washing machine, and it
     won't follow you around for a week.
Q:   What do you say to a blonde with no arms and no legs?
A:   "Nice tits!"
Q:   What does a blonde make best for dinner?
A:   Reservations.
Q:   What do Darren Millane (Collingwood footballer killed in a
     recent car crash) and a blonde have in common?
A:   Put either of 'em in a car and their fucked.
Q:   What do blondes do with their arseholes in the morning?
A:   Pack their lunch and send them to work.
Q:   What does a blonde say when she gives birth?
A:   Gee, Are you sure it's mine?
Q:   What do blondes and cow-pats have in common?

A:   They both get easier to pick-up with age.
Q:   What does a blonde say when you ask her if her blinker is on?
A:   It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off. It's on. It's off.
Q:   What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A:   Change.
Q:   What does a blonde say if you blow in his/her ear?
A:   "Thanks for the refill!"
Q:   What do blondes do after they comb their hair?
A:   They pull up their pants.
Q:   What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A:   A whine cellar.
Q:   What do you call five blondes at the bottom of the pool?
A:   Air bubbles.
Q:   What do you call a room full of women, half with PMT, half
     with yeast infections?
A:   A whine and cheese party!
Q:   What do you call 3 blondes, a chimp, and another blonde standing
     on a street corner?
A:   4 bucks, 4 bucks, 4 bucks, not for a zillion bucks, 4 bucks!
Q:   What do you call a blonde lesbian?
A:   A waste.
Q:   What do you call 4 blondes lying on the ground?
A:   An air mattress.
Q:   What do you call a dumb blonde behind a steering wheel?
A:   An Air Bag.
Q:   What do you call a blonde between two brunettes?
A:   A mental block.
Q:   What do you call 10 blondes standing ear to ear?
A:   A wind tunnel.
Q:   What do you call 15 blondes in a circle?
A:   A dope ring.
Q:   What do you call an unmarried blond in a BMW?
A:   Divorcee'
Q:   What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?
A:   Pregnant.
Q:   What do you call a blonde in an institution of higher learning?
A:   A visitor.
Q:   What do you call a blonde with half a brain?
A:   Gifted!
Q:   What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A:   All you can eat, under a buck.
Q:   What do you call a brunette with a blonde on either side?
A:   An interpreter.
Q:   What do you call a blond with a bag of sugar on her head ?
A:   Sweet Fuck All...
Q:   What do you call a swimming pool full of blondes?
A:   Bobbing for Bimbos.
Q:   What do you call 20 blondes in a freezer?
A:   Frosted Flakes.
Q:   What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A:   A Space Invader.
Q:   What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case?
A:   Branch Manager.
Q:   What do you call a smart blond?
A1:  A golden retriever.
A2:  An indicator of a really bad hangover.
Q:   What do you call two nuns and a blonde?
A:   Two tight ends and a wide receiver.
Q:   What do you see when you look into a blonde's eyes?
A:   The back of her head.
Q:   What do you get when you cross a blonde and a gorilla?
A:   Who knows, there is only so much a gorilla can be forced to do...
Q:   What do you call a hooker and four blondes?
A:   Regular price, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks, four bucks.
Q:   What do you call it when a blonde dyes her hair brunette?
A:   Artificial intelligence.
Q:   What do a blonde and your computer have in common?
A:   You don't know how much either of them mean to you until they
     go down on you.
Q:   What do a bowling ball and a blonde have in common?
A1:  Chances are they'll both end up in the gutter.
A2:  You can pick them up, stick your fingers in them, and throw them
     in the gutter and they'll always come back.
Q:   What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A:   Her ankles.
Q:   What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?
A:   "Have another beer."