Q:  How do you confuse a blonde?
A:  You don't. They're born that way.
Q:  Why do blondes hate M&Ms?
A:  They're too hard to peel.
Q:  How do you know when a blonde has been making chocolate chip cookies?
A:  You find M&M shells all over the kitchen floor.
Q:  What job function does a blonde have in an M&M factory?
A:  Proofreading.
Q:  Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A:  For throwing out the W's.
Q:  Why don't blondes like making KOOL-AID?
A:  Because they can't fit 8 cups of water in the little packet.
Q:  How does the blonde car pool work?
A:  They all meet at work at 7:  45.
Q:  What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimers disease?
A:  Her IQ goes up!
Q:  Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A:  She found out Big Ben is only a clock.
Q:  Why can't blondes make ice cubes?
A:  They always forget the recipe.
Q:  DID YOU HEAR ABOUT THE BLONDE THAT ATE MOUNTAIN OYSTERS?
A:  She was dragged 200 yards.
Q:  How many blondes does it take to play Hide and Seek?
A:  One.
Q:  Why couldn't the blonde write the number ELEVEN ?
A:  She didn't know what ONE came first...
Q:  Why don't blondes talk when having sex?
A1: Their mothers told them not to talk to strangers.
Q:  What do you call a blonde with 90% of her intelligence gone?
A:  Divorced.
Q:  How can you tell when a blonde is dating a cowboy?
A:  By the buckle print on her forehead.
Q:  How can you tell who is a blonde's boyfriend?
A:  He's the one with the belt buckle the matches the impression in her
    forehead!
Q:  How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?
A:  She has a checkbook.
Q:  What's the difference between a prostitute, a nymphomaniac, and a
    blonde?
A:  The prostitute says "Aren't you done yet?"
    The nympho says "Are you done already?"
    The blonde says "Beige...I think I'll paint the ceiling beige."
Q:  Why does a blonde only change her baby's diapers every month?
A:  Because it says right on it "good for up to 20 pounds."
Q:  Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
A1: So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
A2: So that when they're on the train they can tell if they're going to
    work or coming home.
Q:  Why don't blondes double recipes?
A:  The oven doesn't go to 700 degrees.
Q:  Why don't blondes make good pharmacists?
A:  They can't get the bottle into the typewriter.
Q:  Why don't blondes call 911 in an emergency?
A1: They can't remember the number.
A2: She can't find the number 11 on the telephone buttons.
Q:  What's the first thing a blonde does in the morning?
A1: Introduces themself.
A2: Walks home.
Q:  What's the first thing a blonde does after sex?
A:  Opens the car door.
Q:  What is the worst thing about sex with a blond?
A:  Bucket seats.
Q:  What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A:  Last years hide and go seek winner.
Q:  What do you call a basement full of blondes?
A:  A whine cellar.
Q:  Why did the blonde have tire tread marks on her back?
A:  From crawling across the street when the sign said "DON'T WALK".
Q:  Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A:  In case she locks the keys in her car.
Q:  Why did the blonde get so excited after she finished her jigsaw puzzle 
    in only 6 months?
A:  Because on the box it said From 2-4 years.
Q:  Did you hear about the blonde coyote?
A:  Got stuck in a trap, chewed off three legs and was still stuck.
Q:  What's a blonde's favorite nursery rhyme?
A:  Humpme Dumpme.
Q:  What did the blonde customer say to the buxom waitress (reading her
    nametag)
A:  "'Debbie'...that's cute. What did you name the other one ?"
Q:  A blonde is walking down the street with a pig under her arm.
    She passes a person who asks "Where did you get that?"
A:  The pig says, "I won her in a raffle!"
Q:  A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should
    cut it in six or twelve pieces. A:  "Six, please. I could never eat twelve
    pieces."