Letters to Dear Abby 
(Editor's Note:  Do you think the authors could be Blondes???)

DEAR ABBY: I've been married for six years and have five kids. No
twins.  My husband still wants to have sex every night and sometimes in
the morning too. I told him he should get himself a hobby, and he says
that is his hobby.

DEAR ABBY: I have a man I never could trust. Why, he cheats so much
I'm not even sure this baby I'm carrying is his.

DEAR ABBY: I am a twenty-three-year-old liberated woman who has been on
the pill for two years. It's getting expensive and I think my boyfriend
should share half the cost, but I don't know him well enough to discuss
money with him.

DEAR ABBY: I suspected that my husband had been fooling around,and when
confronted him with the evidence he denied everything and said it would
never happen again.

DEAR ABBY: Will you please rush me the name of a reliable illegitimate
doctor?

DEAR ABBY: Our son writes that he is taking Judo. Why would a boy who
was raised in a good Christian home turn against his own?

DEAR ABBY: I joined the Navy to see the world. I've seen it.  Now how do
I get out?

DEAR ABBY: My forty-year-old son has been paying a psychiatrist $50 an
hour every week for two-and-a-half years. He must be crazy.

DEAR ABBY: I was married to Bill for three months and I didn't know he
drank until one night he came home sober.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think it would be all right if I gave my doctor a
little gift? I tried for years to get pregnant and couldn't and he
finally did it.

DEAR ABBY: My mother is mean and short-tempered. I think she is going
through her mental pause.

DEAR ABBY: I met this nice guy who was in the service. He's the chief
petting officer.

DEAR ABBY: I've been going steady with this man for six years. We see
each other every night. He says he loves me, and I know I love him,but
he never mentions marriage. Do you think he's going out with me just for
what he can get?-GERTIE-
DEAR GERTIE: I don't know. What's he getting?

DEAR ABBY: My husband hates to spend money! I cut my own hair and make
my own clothes, and I have to account for every nickel I spend.
Meanwhile he has a stock of savings bonds put away that would choke a
cow.  How do I get some money out of him before we are both called to
our final judgment? He says he's saving for a rainy day.FORTY YEARS
HITCHED-
DEAR HITCHED: Tell him it's raining!

DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend is going to be twenty years old next month.  I'd
like to give him something nice for his birthday.  What do you think
he'd  like? -CAROL-
DEAR CAROL: Never mind what he'd like. Give him a tie.

DEAR ABBY: Are birth control pills deductible? -KAY-
DEAR KAY: Only if they don't work.

DEAR ABBY: Our son was married in January. Five months later his  wife
had a ten-pound baby girl. They said the baby was premature.  Tell me,
can a baby this big be that early?-WONDERING-
DEAR WONDERING: The baby was on time, the wedding was late. Forget it.

DEAR ABBY: Do you think about dying much? -CURIOUS-
DEAR CURIOUS: No, it's the last thing I want to do.

DEAR ABBY: Is it possible for a man to be in love with two women at the
same time? -JAKE-
DEAR JAKE: Yes, and also hazardous.

DEAR ABBY: I know boys will be boys, but my 'boy' is seventy-three and
he's still chasing women. Any suggestions?-ANNIE-
DEAR ANNIE: Don't worry. My dog has been chasing cars for years, but if
he ever caught one, he wouldn't know what to do with it.

DEAR ABBY: I have always wanted to have my family history traced, but I
can't afford to spend a lot of money to do it.  Any suggestions?-SAM IN
CAL.-
DEAR SAM: Yes. Run for public office.

DEAR ABBY: What inspires you most to write? -TED-
DEAR TED: The Internal Revenue Service.

DEAR ABBY: When you are being introduced, is it all right to say, "I've
heard a lot about you"?-RITA-
DEAR RITA: It depends on what you've heard.

DEAR ABBY: What's the difference between a wife and a mistress?-BESS-
DEAR BESS: Night and Day.

DEAR ABBY: A couple of women moved in across the hall from me. One  is a
middle-aged gym teacher and the other is a social worker in her
mid-twenties. These two women go everywhere together and I've never seen
a man go into their apartment or come out. Do you think they could be
Lebanese?



Thanks to Mary Campbell