Copied from Jim Barlow's Column, Houston Chronicle:
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APRIL FOOL'S DAY is gone, so we can write another episode of Weird
Business News without you thinking this is a spoof. No, here are 
actual events in the world of business.

Now for the Chrome Fish Award. You've probably seen this symbol on 
the rear of cars owned by some members of the Christian faith -- 
the stylized outline of a fish. You may even have seen the one with 
a fish with feet and the word, "Darwin." Recently, I saw such a fish 
with teeth that made it unmistakably a shark.  I wrote down the license 
plate number, stood in line at the court house, paid my $2, got the 
name of the car's owner, looked him up in the phone book and sure enough. 
A lawyer.

Our "Where's the Beef" Award to Fantastic Foods of Petaluma, Calif. 
After Oprah Winfrey was acquitted of libeling beef in an Amarillo 
court, the food company donated 10 cases of meatless burgers to Amarillo's 
food bank.

The Plain English Award to Watkins-Johnson Co. of Gaithersburg, Md., 
which announced "that a new version of the Base2(TM) MacroCell Base Station 
has entered production and is the first commercially available dual-mode
AMPS/IS-136A software-definable base station for both mobile and fixed
wireless applications."

The latest tale of the Technologically Challenged comes from the reader
who reports he encountered a would-be motorist in a parking lot who could
not get into her car because the battery in her remote door locker was
dead. It was, however, attached to her car keys. He was able to help.