Redneck Computer Part 1 32 BIT RESOLUTION : moshun to spend four dollars ADOBE PHOTOSHOP : red bilding ware you git yur pictur took ALIAS : name ya use at a motel ADDRESS : clothes worn by women and J. Edgar Hoover ALTERNATE DRIVE : a detour APPLE : needed for pan dowdy and fritters APPLETS : little apples or fritters APPLICATION : put salve on yur skin ASCII: wen ya raise yur hand to go to the restrom ASYNCHRONOUS TRANSMISSION : wen yur truck needs fizin ATTACHMENT : feeling close to yur dog or wife BACKUP : (1) takin the truk outa the driveway (2) sleepin face down (3) whatcha do when you run across a skunk in the woods BACKUP DISC : spare frisbie BANDWIDTH: mens are larger on a watch BAR CODE: fightn rules at the local tavern BAUD RATE : hourly charge at the motel BINARY : someone who likes both men an women BIT : (1) a wager as in I bit ya can't spit that chawin tibacco across the road (2) two bits is twenty-five cents BROWSER : fella reedin PLAYBOY in the drug store BUG : (1) thing on phone to check yur wife's calls (2) reason to call in sick wen theres a ballgame BYTE : wut them dang flys and muskitos do. C++ : superior grade in skool CABLE : TV with ESPN and HBO CACHE needed when yur credit card maxs out and ya hav no food stamps CD ROM : place in the bank ware they sell thos big notes CLONES : (1) jobless fans of the jungle. (2) guys in circus in funny suits CHIP : (1) animal droppins (2) munchies fer the TV CLIPBOARD : place you keep yur ammo COBAL : baseball game with men and gals at cumpany piknics CODE : wen yu gotta snooty nose and coff CODING : illegal drug that makes you high COOKIE : snacks to keep the kids happy CRASH : (1) wen yur truk hits a tree. (2) wen you go to Juniors party uninvited (3) wacha do wen yer too tired to do nuttin else CURSOR : wucha do wen yur mad at yur wife CYBERSPACE : war ya keep yur cider and six-packs DEBUGGER : a roach motel DESKTOP : place to keep yer homework DESKTOP PRINTING : wen ya carve yur initials on yur skull desk DIGITAL : (1) a questshun as digital furgit ta bring the beer (2) numbers on a alarm clock (3) art of countin on yur fingers DIGITAL CONTROL : wut yur fingers do on the TV remote DIGITAL SIGNATURE : fingerprints DISC OPERATING SYSTEM : Wat the doc uses to fix yur floppy disc DISKETTE : female disco dancer DOMAIN : most importint as he's domain boss DOS : (1) opposite of donts (2) opposite of deeze DOT MATRIX : Tom Matrix's wife DOWNLOAD : (1) gettin the farwood off the truk (2) to flush the john DOWNTIME : period of depression DTP : baby shots to pervent sickness DRIVE COMPATABILITY : a long car ride with your wife without fightin E-MAIL : not a sissy or weeklin EDIT : wucha do with food ENCRYPTION : what the undertaker duz to ya ENDORA : Samanthas mother ENTER : notherner talk fer cumin, ya all ETHERNET : wut the doc puts on your face in surgery to make ya sleep EXPANSION SLOT : extra hole in yur belt ya use wen ya overeat FAQ : used with U, wut you yell when someone cuts ya off FAX : wucha lie about to the IRS FILE : wut yur wile uses on her nails FINGER : wat ya gives a driver wat cuts ya off FIREWALL : ware ya practises yur target shutin FLOPPY : (1) Roscoe after sex (2) pancakes FLOPPY DISK : (1) soggy pizza (2) wucha git from liftin too much farwood FONT : discover as in I font it at a garage sale FORMAT : small rug to wipe your feet on on a muddy day FORTRAN : (1) tells yur future, usually inside cookies at Chinese resterants (2) lots of money FRAME : wen the cops bring ther own pot to yer party FREEZE : releases from captivity as Superman freeze the hostiges