Adam and Eve Virus 
Takes a couple of bytes out of your apple.

Airline Virus 
You're in Dallas, but your data is in Singapore.

Al Gore UNIX Virus 
Whenever you inquire about one of your environment variables, it 
shows you the current setting, but then tacks on an alarmist message 
concerning the future of the variable.

Arnold Schwartzeneger Virus 
Terminates and stays resident. It'll be back.

AT&T Virus
Constantly reminds you how it's giving you much better service than 
the other viruses. 

AT&T New Virus
Every three minutes it complains that it's sick of circles.

Bill Clinton Virus
This virus mutates from region to region. We're not sure what it does.

Billy Graham Virus
When you save a file, it prints, "I am saved!" to the screen.

Birthday Virus
Keeps advancing your clock by another year.

Bobbit Virus
It turns a 7.5meg hardrive to a 3 1/2 inch floppy drive.

Bush Virus
Before you buy a new computer, it claims that your old computer works 
on voodoo programming. After you buy your new computer, it maintains 
the course of your old computer. For to do otherwise wouldn't be 
prudent at this juncture.

Chicago Cubs Virus
Your PC makes frequent mistakes and comes in last in the reviews, 
but you still love it!

Cleveland Indians Virus
Makes your 300 Mhz Pentium Pro machine perform like a 286/AT.

Clinton Virus
Fills you with the compulsion to cut wasteful government spending at 
the same time that it compels you to hop into an airplane for a $200
haircut at tax payer expense.

Congress Virus
Overdraws your disk space.

Congressional Virus
Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously, but doesn't allow 
the user to accomplish anything.

Congressional Virus 2
The computer locks up, screen splits erratically with a message appearing 
on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Dan Quayle Virus
Forces your computer to play "PGA Tour" from 10 am to 4 pm, 6 days a week.

Dan Quayle Virus 2
Prevents your processes from spawning any child without first joining into 
a binary network. Also said to cause speling erors in files stored on your 
disk.

Dan Quayle Virus 3
Their is sumthing rong with your compueter, ewe just can't figyour out watt.

David Duke Virus
Makes your screen go completely white.

Elvis Virus
Your computer gets fat, slow, and lazy and then self-
destructs, only to resurface at shopping malls and service stations 
across rural America.

Federal Bureaucrat Virus
Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which does 
practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part 
of the computer.


Freudian Virus
Your computer becomes obsessed with marrying its own motherboard.

Gallup Virus
Sixty percent of the PCs infected will lose 38 percent of their data 14 
percent of the time (plus or minus a 3.5 percent margin of error).

George Bush Virus
Doesn't do anything, but you can't get rid of it until November.

George Bush Virus 2 - It starts by boldly stating, "Read my test... 
no new files!" on the screen, proceeds to fill up all the free space 
on your hard drive with new files, then blames it on the Congress Virus.

Government Economist Virus
Nothing works on your system, but all your diagnostic software says 
everything is just fine.

Gridlock Virus
Keeps shuffling information that it calls 'bills' between your CPU and 
BUS, sending messages like 'House Bill #xxxx is unacceptable to Senate'. 
Never gets any work done.

H Ross Perot Virus
 Runs for awhile, leaves the system, then re-appears, but with less effect.

H Ross Perot Virus 2
Same as the Jerry Brown Virus, only nicer fonts are used, and it appears to 
have had a lot more money put into its development.

H Ross Perot Virus 3
Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Health Care Virus
Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong, and sends you a bill for 
$4,500.