Men Questions


What can a bird do that a man can't?
Whistle through his pecker.

Why don't women blink during foreplay?
They don't have time.

Why does it take one million sperm to fertilize one egg?
They won't stop and ask for directions

Why did God put men on Earth?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Why don't women have men's brains?
Because they don't have a penis to keep it in.

What do electric trains and breasts have in common?
They are usually meant for children, but it's the men who usually end up
playing with them.

Why do men snore when they lay down on their backs?
Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor-lock.

Why do men masturbate?
Because it's sex with someone they love.

Why were men given larger brains than dogs?
So they won't hump women's legs at parties.

Why did God  create man before woman?
you need a rough draft before you have a final copy.

Why is pee yellow and sperm white?
So men can tell whether they're coming or going.

How many men does it take to put the toilet seat down?
I don't know, it hasn't happened yet!

Have you heard of the Lorena Bobbitt computer virus?
It turns your hard drive into a 3-1/2" floppy.

What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brain?
A widower.

What do you do if you look out into the backyard and find your husband
stumbling and staggering about?
Load another clip.



Thanks to Phil Rumsey