Laws of the Land

Murphy's Law:  If anything can go wrong, it will.

Ballweg's Discovery:  Whenever there is a flat surface, someone will 
                      find someting to put on it.

Rabbe's Rule of the Bedroom:  The spouse who snores louder always 
                              falls asleep first.

Dickson's Gardening Discovery:  When weeding, the best way to make sure you 
                                are removing a weed and not a valuable plant 
                                is to pull it out.  If it comes out of the 
                                ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

Dorothy's Dilemma:  The heavier the package and the farther you must carry it, 
                    the more your nose itches.

Todd's Rule of Bar Code Malfunction:  The bar code in the checkout line won't 
                                      work on items you're embarassed to be buying.

Rosenbaum's Rule:  The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to 
                   buy a replacement.

Parent's Law:  By the time you're right, you're dead.

Smith's Fourth Law of Inertia:  A body at rest tends to watch television.

Murphy's Service Call Discovery:  The more urgent the problem, the longer it will 
                                  take for service.

Customer Service Law:  The more desperate your phone call, the longer you will 
                       be put on hold.

The Law of Technology Advances:  If you can't understand it, it is intuitively 
                                 obvious.

90-90 Rule of Project Schedules:  The first 90% of the task takes 90% of the time.  
                                  The last 10% takes the other 90%.