The Top 16 Little-Known Oscar Nominations

16) Best Imitation of Acting by a Bad Martial Artist -- Steven Seagal

15) Best Grip -- Monica Lewinsky

14) Breast Supporting Actress -- Demi Moore

13) Actor Slammed Most Often in a Top 5 List -- Pauly Shore

12) Largest Ego Squeezed Onto a Movie Set -- Val Kilmer

11) Best Animated Film With No Plans for a Subsequent National Tour With
    "On Ice" After Its Name -- no nominations this year

10) Best Use of Erect Nipples in a Feature Length Film to Draw Attention 
    from Face -- Helen Hunt, "As Good As It Gets"

 9) Best Performance by a Baldwin or Wayans -- Alec (again)

 8) Best Performance in a Romance -- Pamela Anderson Lee; Best Animated 
    Long Feature -- Tommy Lee

 7) Best Performance by a Frosty Bobbing Cadaver -- Colin Winthorpe, "Titanic"

 6) Best Occupation for Your Character When Playing Opposite a Babe -- Leonardo 
    DiCaprio's nude sketch artist, "Titanic"

 5) Fastest to be Dumped When Boyfriend Reached Stardom -- Minnie Driver, by 
    Matt Damon

 4) Most Thorough Research by an Actor Who May Someday Play a Cowering Pretty-
    Boy Cellmate -- Robert Downey, Jr.

 3) Special "American Gigolo" Award -- James Brolin

 2) Vocal Performance from a Movie Soundtrack That Most Makes One Envious of 
    Those Who Drowned in the Film Because They Never Had to Hear This Overdramatic 
    Crap Over and Over -- Celine Dion, "Titanic"


    and the Number 1 Little-Known Oscar Nomination...


 1) Fullest Monty -- Dirk Diggler, "Boogie Nights"

[ This list copyright 1998 by Chris White and Ziff Davis, Inc. ]
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