Sayings


Early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese

For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.

Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?

All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.

Join the Army, meet interesting people, kill them.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol

I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm

Drink 'til she's cute, but stop before the wedding

Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines

Boycott shampoo! Demand the REAL poo!

I'm not cheap, but I am on special this week

I almost had a psychic girlfriend but she left me before we met

I intend to live forever - so far, so good

I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy

If you ain't makin' waves, you ain't kickin' hard enough!

Mental backup in progress- Do Not Disturb!

Mind Like A Steel Trap - Rusty And Illegal In 37 States

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have

The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.

When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder ...

24 hours in a day ... 24 beers in a case ... coincidence?

If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked
something.

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job.

When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.

Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.

If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?



Thanks to Mary Campbell