The Top 12 Ways Life Would be Different If There Were No Vowels


12.  Wht th fck knd f tpc s ths?

11.  Nothing before nothing except after c?   Sure, Teach.  Whatever.

10.  Cartoon strip characters limited to sleeping and swearing.

 9.  Sudden inability to pick out the Czech hockey players in the NHL.

 8.  Alex Trebek: still wealthy and famous.  Pat and Vanna: living in 
     a van down by the river and fighting tooth and Press-on Nail over 
     dwindling supply of food.

 7.  As the price of Sesame Street stock plummets, Bert and Ernie are
     laid off.

 6.  Y, during interrogation, denies any ever working for the deposed
     junta.

 5.  19% less time on the crapper.

 4.  The Thomas Brothers' Map regional offices in Honolulu do some serious 
     downsizing.

 3.  Now, *51* ways to leave your lover!  Latest addition:  "Sorry babe,
     but U and I are history."

 2.  Old MacDonald awakens to an eerie silence.

and Top5's Number 1 Way Life Would be  Different If There Were No Vowels...

 1.  President Clinton breathes a sigh of relief, since he never said he
     didn't have sex with Mnc Lwnsk.