You Know You've Been Drinking Too Much Coffee When:


-  Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
-  You ski uphill.
-  You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked.
-  You speed walk in your sleep.
-  You answer the door before people knock.
-  You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
-  You just completed another sweater and you don't know how to knit.
-  You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
-  You sleep with your eyes open.
-  You have to watch videos in fast-forward.
-  The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake.
-  You can take a picture of yourself from ten feet away without using 
   the timer.
-  You lick your coffeepot clean.
-  You spend every vacation visiting "Maxwell House."
-  You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you 
   don't even work there.
-  You've worn out your third pair of tennis shoes this week.
-  Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
-  You chew on other people's fingernails.