Here are some jewels from a book called "A Wife's Little Instruction Book" 
by Diana Jordan and Paul Seaburn.  


Men like dogs better than they like women because a dog is happy when men 
leave the toilet seat up.

Most men feel that if God had wanted us to use tissues, She wouldn't have 
given them fingers.

A man hates it when a woman cries because he's afraid he's to blame.  And 
he's right.

There's a commercial where guys sit around drinking beer, cleaning fish, 
and wiping their noses on their sleeves.  That's not a commercial. That's 
a *warning.*

Don't let a man go alone to pick out an engagement ring.  He'll do something 
stupid, like pick one he can afford.

When you want your husband to play with you, wear a full-length black nightgown 
with buttons all over it.  Sure, it's uncomfortable, but it makes you look 
just like his remote control.