Universal Dumping Guide Translator


This is a message for all of you singles. Is life getting you 
down? Guys, have you been getting depressed because there are 
simply not enough women to go around? And ladies, are you tired 
of the guys being to afraid to ask you out?

Well here it is, the answer to everyone's deepest wish! "The Guide
to Being Dumped." These are the top 10 dumping lies translated to
their true meanings for all of you.

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"I'm not ready for that type of commitment" 

Translation:
I don't want to date you; however, you can take me out to dinner
and a movie every once in a while. Just don't hang around me so
much that you scare away the people I really want to date.

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"God doesn't want me to date right now. " 

Translation:
I don't know why I said 'yes' in the first place. God doesn't want
me to date someone as ugly as you.

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"I only date older men/women."

Translation:
I only date older men/women who have more money than you do.

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"You're just not my type." 

Translation:
When I look at you, and think of kissing you, I get physically 
sick.

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"You're too good for me."

Translation:
I'm too good/much/cool for you.

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"You're too much like a brother/sister" 

Translation:
I like you, but you just don't turn me on. 

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"You'll always have a special place in my heart."

Translation:
My lawyer will contact you soon about the restraining order.

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"I think we should date other people." 

Translation:
Look, I'm late for my date, he/she's probably waiting in the
parking lot. I've got to go.

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"I just don't have the time to date anyone." 

Translation:
You do realize that I've been avoiding you for months now.

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"Maybe we can get together real soon."

Translation:
Perhaps if you were the last man/woman on Earth. 

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[Thanks to Jim Poway]