MS-DOJ v 1.0

(REDMOND WA, JRI) - The war is on. Microsoft today announced the 
release of MS-DOJ v 1.0 -- software designed to replace in its 
entirety the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ). 

"The DOJ is irrational," declared Bill Gates. "This new software 
will replace the capricious whims of lifetime bureaucrats with 
the cool logic of digital analysis."

Industry analysts, concerned over the effect of the DOJ's masive 
investigation into Microsoft, hailed the move as "brilliant." In 
a presentation before a packed auditorium, Gates demonstrated some 
of the features of the new program, including the helpful MS-DOJ v 
1.0 Monopoly Wizard. 

This digital aide guides you through the determination of whether a 
corporation has used monopolistic practices.  

First question: "Does the corporation start with "Micro?" If yes, it's 
not a monopoly! 

Microsoft claims the entire DOJ can be run from the software, which 
also requires the purchase of Windows98, Microsoft Internet Explorer, 
and tickets to Bill Gates favorite charity raffle.



Thanks to Jim Rosenberg