First Prize

Well, Scotman clad in kilt left the bar one evening fair, 
And one could tell by how he walked that he'd drunk more than his share.
He fumbled 'round until he could no longer keep his feet,
Then he stumbled off into the grass to sleep beside the street.

About that time two young and lovely girls just happened by,
One says to the other with a twinkle in her eye,
See yon sleeping Scotman, so strong and handsome built,
I wonder if it's true what they don't wear beneath the kilt.

They crept up on the that sleeping Scotsman, as quiet as could be.
Lifted up his kilt about an inch so they could see,
And there behold for them to view beneath his scottish skirt,
Was nothing more than God has graced him with upon his birth.

They marveled for a moment, then one said, "We must be gone".
Let's leave a present for our friend before we move along.
As a gift, they left a blue silk ribbon tied into a bow,
Around the bonnie star the Scot's kilt did lift and show.

Now the Scotsman woke to nature's call, and stumbled toward the trees,
Behind the bush he lifts his kilt and gawks as what he sees.
And in a startled voice he says, to what's before his eyes,
Oh, lad, I don't know where you've been, but I see you won first prize.