Language Counts!

 Mmmm Mmmm Good !

A grandmother was surprised by her 7 year old grandson one morning.  He
had made her coffee.  She drank what was the worst cup of coffee in her 
life.  When she got to the bottom, there were three of those little green 
army men in the cup.

She said, "Honey, what are the army men doing in my coffee?"

Her grandson said, "Grandma, it says on TV-'The best part of waking up
is soldiers in your cup!'"

=======================================

In a small southern town there was a "Nativity Scene" that showed real skill 
and talent had gone into creating it. One small feature bothered me however.  
The three wise men were wearing firemen's helmets.

Totally unable to come up with a reason or explanation, I left. At a "Quik Stop"
on the edge of town, I asked the lady behind the counter about the helmets. She 
exploded into a rage, yelling at me, "Don't you dern Yankees ever read the Bible?

I assured her that I did, but simply couldn't recall anything about firemen in 
the Bible.

She jerked her Bible from behind the counter and ruffled thru some pages, and 
finally jabbed her finger at a passage.  Sticking it in my face she said "See,  
it says right here, 'The three wise man came from afar'."

=================================== 

A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat. 
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. 
She is understandably distraught about  this and asks her husband to drive her to the 
doctor.

She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.  When they 
get to the doctor's, the man lifts his wife's coat to show their predicament. The man 
asks, "Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?"

"Well, yes," the doctor replies, "but never framed."