Quickies 13 Q. What is the penalty for bigamy? A. Two mothers-in-law! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Boy Why won't you marry me? Is there someone else? Girl Oh Lord, there must be! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Man : You remind me of the sea. Woman: Because I'm wild, romantic and exciting? Man : NO, because you make me sick. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- What is the difference between a sewing machine and a lady jogging? A sewing machine only has one bobbin. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Q. What do you call it when you think that you've been cursed again? A. Deja voodoo. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Why did the surreal chicken cross the road? Frying pan handle. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Never pride yourself on knowledge. Even a head of iceberg lettuce knows more than you do. It knows whether or not that light really does go out when the refrigerator door shuts. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Every day is unique. Each date comes only once and then it's gone. Which explains why I have to buy a new calendar every year. (Michael McCuiston) ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- How many surreal dyslexics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Neon. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Is a Chinese turkey a Peeking Tom? ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Do restaurant patrons in Prague always get separate Czechs? -------------------------------------------------------------------------------