Was he the best pitcher that ever threw a baseball? Back in the 1950s, there 
were a lot of folks who thought so. Mel Famey of the Milwaukee Braves was 
a natural -- a once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon whose fast ball blew away the best 
hitters. His 90 MPH curve ball would start out like it was going to hit the batter's 
ear, only to break at the last instant and hit the outside corner of the plate for a 
strike. His change up made the best hitters in the league cry -- they would swing, 
drop the bat, and stare incredulously as the ball hit the catcher's mitt. He was 
indeed awesome! Why then, you might ask, is he not in the Hall of Fame? Why 
haven't you ever heard of him? Alas, like many others before him, Mel's downfall 
was demon alcohol. Ol' Mel really liked to tilt the glass. His drinking became 
almost legendary around the country, but he never let it affect his pitching until 
The Braves and the Yankees were in the World Series! Excitement reigned! The 
series was tied at three games apiece, and the Braves were in New York for the 
seventh and deciding game. The night before the big event, Mel's thirst got the 
better of him. He snuck out of the hotel after curfew, and bought himself two cases 
of beer. As you might imagine, the next morning Mel didn't feel too good. But 
being the pro that he was, Mel managed to do just fine -- until the bottom of the 
ninth inning. With the Braves ahead by one run, two out, and the bases loaded, 
Mel's revelry the night before finally caught up to him. Eight straight pitches -- 
eight straight balls. He walked in the tying run and the winning run, thereby, losing 
the game and the series. After the game, a reporter went to the jubilant Yankee's 
clubhouse and spoke to the last two players that faced Mel. "Tell me," he asked, 
"To what do you attribute this victory over the best pitcher in the major leagues"? 
In unison they replied, .... "It was the beer that made Mel Famey walk us"!



Outside a small Macedonian village a lone Catholic nun keeps a quiet watch over 
a silent convent. She is the last caretaker of this site of significant historical 
developments, spanning more than 2,000 years. When Sister Maria Cyrilla of the 
Order of the Perpetual Watch dies, the convent of St. Elias will be closed by the 
Eastern Orthodox Patriarch of Macedonia. However, that isn't likely to happen 
soon, as Sister Maria, 53, enjoys excellent health. By her own estimate, she walks 
10 miles daily about the grounds of the convent, which once served as a base for 
the army of Attila the Hun. In more ancient times, a Greek temple to Eros, the god 
of love, occupied the hilltop site. Historians say that Attila took over the old temple 
in 439 A.D., and used it as a base for his marauding army. The Huns are believed to 
have first collected and then destroyed a large gathering of Greek legal writs at the 
site. It is believed that Attila wanted to study the Greek legal system and had the 
writs and other documents brought to the temple. Scholars differ on why he had 
the valuable documents destroyed - either because he was barely literate and 
couldn't read them, or because they provided evidence of a democratic government 
that did not square with his own notion of "rule by an all-powerful tyrant". When 
the Greek church took over the site in the 15th century and the convent was built, 
church leaders ordered the pagan statue of Eros destroyed, so another ancient 
Greek treasure was lost. Today, there is only the lone sister, watching over the old 
Hun base. When she goes, that will be it. Thus, that's how it ends, with ,,, 
No Huns,  No Writs, No Eros, and Nun on base.



Actually, this story concerns three elderly ladies, a large bottle of Jack Daniels 
(Black Label), and a baseball game. In addition, you get to be a detective. Our 
three protagonists went to their first Rangers game, something that was an 
occasion of great excitement to them. To add to the excitement, they smuggled 
a bottle of booze into the game, and started immediately to enhance the soft 
drinks they bought. It was a good game. There was a lot of action on the field 
and a lot of action in the stands. All too soon, long before the game was over, 
the bottle was nearly empty. By now, I have given you enough information to 
be able to tell us how far along we are in the game, and what the status of the 
game is. It's the bottom of the fifth and the bags are loaded.