Disdainful comments and questions about contemporary life
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Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

A recently concluded $18 million, seven-year study by the University 
of Stockholm has concluded that God speaks like we do here in the South. 
Actually, he sounds almost exactly like Sen. Strom Thurmond.

America is like the guy at the party who gives everyone cocaine, and still 
no one likes him.

If an older woman marries a younger man, it is called "robbing the cradle." 
So, if a younger woman marries an older man, is is called "robbing the casket"?

Is it too late? I think that part of the tobacco settlement should be that 
you could buy a coffin with Marlboro Miles.

I wonder if Noah blamed the flood on El Nino.

If you still think "There's no such thing as a stupid quesiton," you haven't 
met my boss!

One of my black friends told me that the SAT is "culturally biased" in favor 
of whites. if that's true, how come the Asian kids are kicking our white butts?

Memo to Tara Lipinski: when invited to the White House, take along your friend 
the sumo champ.

I wish there were mute buttons for people!