QUIPS & QUOTES

Contrary to popular opinion, facts are not established by popular
opinion."  --Don Watson, ISPE

I'm glad I'm not President of the United States, because then I would be
limited to having sex with pretty much whoever shows up in my office.
--Patti North-Rudin

In the midst of winter, I finally learned there was within me an
invincible summer.  --Albert Camus

If there were no golf balls, how would we measure hail?

I am not part of the problem.  I am a Republican.  --Vice President Dan
Quayle

A low voter turnout is an indication of fewer people going to the
polls.  --Vice President Dan Quayle

It's time for the human race to enter the solar system. --Vice President
Dan Quayle

Life is short, so we must move very slowly.  --Thai proverb

If your work speaks for itself, don't interrupt.  --Industrialist Henry
Frazier

It's too bad the Southern Hemisphere can't split off and join the
Northern Hemisphere for a truly International Spring celebration.  But
then aliens might mistake us for Dolly Parton's bra.  --Dave Wesley

Sleep is death without the responsibility.  --Fran Leibowitz

Give a man food, and he can eat for a day.  Give a man a job, and he can
only eat for 30 minutes on break.  --Lev L. Spiro

When the snow is up to your knees, about the only thing to be thankful
for is that you're not eight feet tall.  --Doug Larson

Laughter gives us distance.  It allows us to step back from the event,
deal with it and then move on.  --Bob Newhart

Said one friend to another in an upscale coffee bar:  "I wish you
wouldn't embarrass me by ordering PLAIN coffee.  --S. Harris

It's spring!  Now all those people who drive like jerks in the snow can
start driving like jerks in the rain.  --J. Wagner

This wall paper is killing me.  One of us will have to go.  --Oscar
Wilde, on his death bed

Buy old masters.  They fetch a better price than old mistresses.  --Lord
Beaverbrook

Asked about his philosophy of life, President Harry S. Truman, a farmboy
at heart, replied, "Never kick a fresh turd on a hot day."  --Merle
Miller
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Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird (McHaw) List