Semi-Deep Thoughts 3


Why don't police cars have a bumper sticker that says, "How's my
driving?"

Thanks to Clinton appointees, peanut butter is now a controlled
substance.

Congress has now tabled the minium wage bill and campaign finance
reform. Did anyone notice?

Do you think they'll ever have an award show for the best award shows?

He who espouses family values shouldn't have ex-spouses.

My son told me that he's only attending college until it becomes available 
on CD-ROM.

When peanut butter is outlawed, only outlaws will have peanut butter.

Very few men would turn down discreet extramarital sex. It's just that
most get no offers, which is all that saves them.

When did the Seventh Commandment get changed from thou shalt not
commit adultery to thou shalt not ADMIT adultery?

Anyone who was a teenager in the 50s and 60s knows the difference
between doing it and all that other stuff. If an activity couldn't produce 
a baby, it didn't count.

I go from stool to stool in singles bars hoping to get lucky, but
there's never any gum under any of them.

Planet Limbaugh rotates backwards in an unchanging orbit and its dense
mass creates a gravitational field so strong that light and prejudice
cannot escape. No intelligent life is known to survive there.