Shallow Thoughts For Deep Minds

Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a nonprophet organization.
The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad 
girls live.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help 
section?" 
She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
And whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?



Thanks to Thom Wright