Think About It *The clumsy lens grinder? He fell into the lens grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself. *The dry cleaner wanted to go an a date, but found he was too pressed for time. *The plumber did not understand it, but his love life seemed to be going down the drain. *When asked how he was doing, the elevator operator said, "life has its ups and downs." *The glazier told his girlfriend, "I am putty in your hands..." And then she framed him. It was such a pane. *It was shocking... the old electrician seemed to get such a charge out of his job. *The cabinet makers wanted to form a union, but that action was always countered. *The cement finishers union was going to go on strike, but all the workers threw in the trowel. *Old sailors never die, they just get a little dinghy. *The square dancers were going to procrastinate, but they never got around to it. *Why is the first three letters of diet DIE? No wonder this diet is killing me.... *If psychics really know what the winning lottery numbers are, why are they still working? *If your second doctor has a different opinion, does that make a paradox? *If you have two dimes, is that a new paradigm? *If you have two different viewpoints simultaneously is that a parasites? *If your first wife is Elle and then your second wife is also Elle, and they both go shopping in different cars, will they always parallel park? *If you hire two lawyers, does that mean that both lawyers could be replaced by one paralegal? *If you have twin sons who are percussionists, will they both be able to paradiddle? *If you are lazy two days in a row does that mean you have achieved some kind of parallax? *If you shoot two deer in one day is that called a parachute? *If you are lax about something, and then are lax about it again is that called a relax? *If you visit the Pentagon in Washington D.C. for two days in a row is that called repenting? *Do two normal people make one paranormal? *Why do we park in a driveway and drive on a parkway? *If you cook soup for your girl friend will she think you are a super guy? *Would you say that cats the purrrrrrrfect pet? *I don't know a doggone thing about missing animals.... *Some people think I am naive and apathetic. I simply don't know what they mean, and I really don't care. *What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rhinoceros? Elephino! *When somebody tells me to restrain myself, does that me I have to strain twice? *My mother told me not to yell through the screen door.... she did not want me to strain my voice. *If you are a complete pessimist, does this mean you are positively negative? *If the hijacker tells the pilot to fly the plane to Cuba and he refuses, does that mean he is experiencing abject terror? *You are unique.... just like everybody else. *When the gas station attendant offers to top off my gas tank, I find I am very tankful. *When a person rewrites a poem to make it better, does that mean he is reversing himself? *When you come to the end of your rope, it is just the beginning... *When Bach or Beethoven erased a manuscript to make changes, were they decomposing? *What did the Buddhist tell the hot dog vender? Make me one with everything.... *There is no prophet in atheism... *Are two dice a paradise? *If the African yak spins in circles till it gets dizzy, is that called an afro-dizzy-yak?