You might be a Yankee if...(you live in Rhode Island)..or 
You're NOT a Redneck if:

  1) You think barbecue is a verb meaning "to cook outside."

  2) You think Heinz Ketchup is "SPICY!"

  3) You don't have any problems pronouncing "Worcestershire 
     sauce" correctly.

  4) For breakfast, you would prefer potatoes au gratin to 
     grits.

  5) You don't know what a moon pie is.

  6) You've never had grain alcohol.

  7) You've never, ever, eaten Okra or Spam and Eggs.

  8) You eat fried chicken with a knife and fork.

  9) You've never seen a live chicken, and the only cows you've 
     seen were on road trips.

 10) You have no idea what a polecat is.

 11) Whenever someone tells an off-color joke about farm animals, 
     it goes over your head.

 12) You don't see anything wrong with putting a sweater on a 
     poodle.

 13) You don't have bangs.

 14) You can tell the difference between the Mercedes-Benz logo 
     and the Chrysler Corp. symbol.

 15) You would rather have your son become a lawyer than grow up 
     to get his own TV fishing show.

 16) Instead of referring to two or more people as "y'all,"  you 
     call them "you guys," even if both of them are women.

 17) You don't think Howard Stern has an accent.

 18) You have never planned your summer vacation around a gun-and-
     knife show.

 19) You think more money should go to important scientific research 
     at your university than to pay the salary of the head football 
     coach.

 20) You don't have at least one can of WD-40 somewhere around the 
     house.

 21) The last time you smiled was when you prevented someone from 
     getting on an on-ramp on the highway.

 22) You don't have any hats in your closet that advertise feed stores 
     or own anything resembling coveralls.

 23) The farthest south you've ever been is the perfume counter at 
     Nieman Marcus.

 24) You think milk comes from the grocery store, not from a cow.

 25) You can't spit out the car window without pulling over to the 
     side of the road and stopping.

 26) You don't know anyone with two first names (i.e. Joe Bob,  
     Billy Bob, Kay Bob, Bob Bob)

 27) You don't have doilies, and you certainly don't know how to 
     make one.

 28) You've never been to a craft show/rodeo/country fair/animal 
     auction.

 29) You get freaked out when people on the subway talk to you. 

 30) You can't do your laundry without quarters, though you can 
     manage without a washboard.

 31) You think "RC Cola" is a radio controlled toy.

 32) You think "KUDZU" is a cartoon.

 33) You agree to go "snipe hunting."

 34) You think "goose bumps" at the beach are normal.

 35) You think "Goo Goo" is baby talk.

 36) You think "Chattahoochee" is something you do on the Internet.

 37) You think "Chattahoochee" is a conversation about illegal 
     liquor.

 38) You are not afraid to skate on a frozen pond.

 39) Your car battery is good to "50 degrees below zero."

 40) You shot a cow while hunting.

 41) You shot yourself while hunting.

 42) You think "baptism" means a little sprinkling.

 43) You call a traffic circle, a "ROTARY."

 44) You call a shopping cart, a "CARRIAGE."