Rantings


If your Southerners want to sound more intelligent to us 
Yankess, stop saying "Do what?" when I ask you a question 
and you don't hear what I asked.

To all those Yankees who think they won the Civil War: The 
president and vice president of the U.S. are Southern, as 
is the Senate leader and the House speaker. Didn't we tell 
you to save your Dixie cups?

All the world's a stage, but the problem is no one is riding 
shotgun.

I called the paper to put in an ad, but I couldn't tell the 
lady about it because it was classified.

I think all-you-can-eat restaurants should be illegal.

City people might not understand it, but the reason we rednecks 
buy extended cab trucks is so our coon hounds will have a seat 
by themselves and not have to ride in those cold boxes in the 
back of the truck.

My girlfriend says I should be more affectionate. So now I have 
two girlfriends.

Jane, for what it costs to take my family to a Braves game, I 
could re-tar paper my entire shack.

Cigarette butts should be biodegradable.

My job is getting really frustrating. Last Friday, I played 47 
games of solitare on my office computer and only won two.

Bill Clinton has apologies and now Newt has embarrassment.