Technology Terms - Redneck Versions


 LOG ON:    Making a wood stove hotter

 LOG OFF:   Don't add no more wood

 MONITOR:   Keeping an eye on the wood stove

 DOWNLOAD:  Gettin the farwood off the truck

 MEGA HERTZ: When yer not keerful gettin the farwood

 FLOPPY DISC: Watcha git from tryin to carry too much farwood

 RAM:       That thar thing whut splits the farwood

 HARD DRIVE: Gettin home in the winter time

 PROMPT:  Whut the mail aint in the winter time

 WINDOWS:  Whut to shut when it's cold in winter

 SCREEN:  Whut to shut when it's black fly season

 BYTE:  Whut dem dang flys do

 CHIP:  Munchies fer the TV

 MICRO CHIP: Whut's in the bottom of the munchie bag

 MODEM:  Watcha did to the hayfields

 DOT MATRIX:  Old Dan Matrix's wife

 LAP TOP:  Whar the kitty sleeps

 KEYBOARD:  Whar ya hang da dang keys

 SOFTWARE: Them dang plastic forks and knifes

 MOUSE:  Whut eats the grain in the barn

 MAIN FRAME:  Holds up the barn ruf

 PORT:  Fancy Flatlander wine

 ENTER:  Northerner talk fer, C'mon in y'all

 RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid
                        fer the rifle when yore wife asks

 MOUSE PAD:   That hippie talk fer the rat hole