OLD PADDY FITZPATRICK

A young Irishman had recently been ordained as a priest and was traveling 
to his new parish in the Irish countryside.  As he drove down the lane, he 
saw a man in the ditch at the side of the road bonking a sheep.  The young 
priest shuddered, uttered a prayer, and crossed himself.

A few miles down the road he saw another man out in the fields frenziedly 
bonking a sheep.  Appalled at having witnessed a second case of bestiality 
in less than an hour, he whispered several prayers, crosses himself fervently, 
and drove on.

Finally, on the outskirts of town, he caught sight of a man leaning against 
a tree and masturbating enthusiastically.  The young priest, then and there 
decided grimly on the topic of his first sermon.

"As I approached this fair town," he began that Sunday, "I witnessed three 
abominations.  First, on the roadside a man committing an unnatural act with 
a sheep.  Shortly thereafter was another man in a field committing the same 
unnatural act with another sheep!  And third, at the very outskirts of this 
town, a man was committing an unnatural act with himself!"

A voice spoke up from somewhere in the congregation, "Aye, that'll be old 
Paddy Fitzpatrick.  He never could catch a sheep!"