90's Sex Quiz...

You should make love to a woman for the first time only after you've both shared:
 a) Your views about what you expect from a sexual relationship.
 b) Blood-test results.
 c) A cab.
 d) Five tequila slammers.

You time your orgasm so that:
 a) Your partner climaxes first.
 b) You both climax simultaneously.
 c) The director can set up for a close-up.
 d) You don't miss football.

Passionate, spontaneous sex on the kitchen floor is:
 a) Strictly for cats.
 b) Healthy, creative love-play.
 c) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend would agree to.
 d) Not the sort of thing your wife/girlfriend need ever find out about.

A prostitute is:
 a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
 b) Someone who provides an essential service.
 c) A cheap date.
 d) A valued employee.

A wife is:
 a) A victim of male dominated society and social oppression.
 b) Someone who provides an essential service.
 c) A cheap date.
 d) A valued employee.

How can you tell when your partner has an orgasm?
 a) When she drops her nail file.
 b) When she goes the color of a Chicago Bulls uniform.
 c) When the Earth moves.
 d) Who cares?

Which of the following lines best fits into your ideal role-playing sexual fantasy:
 a) "Frankly Scarlet, I don't give a damn..."
 b) "I've got a nasty swelling down here, Nurse..."
 c) "You're a lovely, fluffy little sheep...."
 d) "Another consonant please, Carol...."

You take a woman out to dinner and the bill comes to $300. Do you expect:
 a) An overdraft.
 b) Oral sex.
 c) Her to pay next time.
 d) A thank-you letter.

A woman who consents to having sex with you when she is drunk is:
 a) Easier.
 b) Unfortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment.
 c) Fortunately, probably incapable of rational judgment.
 d) A tricky defense in court.

You wake to find your partner clutching your penis in one hand and a carving knife in 
the other. Do you:
 a) Talk through her anger.
 b) Shout "Look behind you!" and make a run for it.
 c) Ask her to put down the offensive weapon.
 d)  Ask her to put down the knife.