Men are like vacations - They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like coolers - Load them up with beer and you can take them 
anywhere.

Men are like coffee - The best ones are rich, warm and can keep you 
going all night long.

Men are like horoscopes - They always tell you what to do and usually 
they are wrong.

Men are like cement - After getting laid, they take a long time to get 
hard.

Men are like snowstorms - You never know when they are coming, how many 
inches you will get, or how long it will last.

How are men and parking places alike?
The good ones are usually gone and what's left are handicapped.

Why is it hard for women to find men who are sensitive, caring and good 
looking?
Because those men already have boyfriends.

Why can't men get mad cow disease?
Because they are all pigs.