HOW TO TALK ABOUT MEN AND STILL BE POLITICALLY CORRECT:

 1. He does not have a HOT BODY, he is ANATOMICALLY GIFTED.

 2. He is not AFRAID OF COMMITMENT, he is RELATIONSHIP CHALLENGED.

 3. He does not have a NICE BUTT,  he is a WELL-ROUNDED INDIVIDUAL.

 4. He will never GO BALD, he will become FOREHEAD ENHANCED.

 5. He is not a BEACH BUM, he is a COASTALLY-LOCATED AMERICAN.

 6. He is not wearing a RACING SUIT OR BANANA HAMMOCK(!!),  he is SWIMWEAR DEPRIVED.

 7. He will never get a BEER BELLY, he will become ABDOMINALLY EXTENDED.

 8. He is not AFRAID TO GET MARRIED, he is AVOIDING DOMESTIC INCARCERATION.

 9. He does not try to SCORE OR PICK YOU UP, he attempts a HORIZONTAL ENCOUNTER.

 10.He does not LOSE HIS HAIR, he will become HAIR IMPAIRED.

 11.He does not STUFF SOCKS IN HIS PANTS, he is a BULGELESS AMERICAN.

 12.He does not WEAR TOO MUCH COLOGNE, he commits FRAGRANCE ABUSE.

 13.He does not get EXCITED, he experiences TEMPORARY BLOOD DISPLACEMENT.

 14.He does not LOSE HIS JOB, he becomes INVOLUNTARILY LEISURED.

 15.He is not SHORT, he is VERTICALLY CHALLENGED.

 16.He does not have a WASHBOARD STOMACH, he is ABDOMINALLY DEFINED.

 17.He does not SEND YOU FLOWERS, he practices BOTONICAL BRIBERY.

 18.He does not GET AROUND, he is a PREVIOUSLY ENJOYED COMPANION.

 19.He is not CONCEITED OR COCKY, he is SELF STIMULATED.

 20.He is not HANDSOME OR GOOD-LOOKING,he is OPTICALLY SUPERIOR.

 21.He is not a TYPICAL HORNY GUY, he is SEXUALLY MOTIVATED.

 22.He is not a GOOD KISSER, he is ORALLY SKILLED.

 23.He is not an IMMATURE JERK, he is CHRONOLOGICALLY IMPAIRED.