Recovering Catholic, WM, 42, with the guilt of a breast fixation, 
seeks understanding woman for romantic relationship.
-SF Weekly

SWF seeks heavy daddy in big pants. Must have convenience store hours 
and be unafraid to wear jumpsuit.
-SF Weekly

Warm and sarcastic guy in late 20's wants to take you to a junkyard.
-SF Weekly

My dog and I are alot alike.  We're both 35, but look and act younger.
We're both fit and trim, have dark hair and eyes, we're handsome, funny,
intelligent and like all foods.  I don't hump my pillow.
-Bay Area Express

Single white male, early 30's, Bay Area native, fit, kind, nice looking,
liberal professional.  Seeking an imperfect, intelligent, thin (similar
age) female who, like me, has baggage that is small enough to fit under
one's seat.
-Bay Area Express

Major Hooters
Major Bill Hooters, at your service, Ma'am. WM, 47, humorous, liberal,
lively, affectionate, seeks busty lady with similar qualities, 35-45,
5'7"-plus, wright in proportion to height.
-Guardian

24 yr. old Italian male seeking gorgeous Italian female, 18-24, for
romantic dinners, walks & 4-wheel fun.
-Poughkeepsie Journal

Girls ever wish you could pee standing up? Stop squatting in the woods,
start using urinals. My ex-girlfriend showed me. i can teach you.
Individual or group lessons available.
-SF Weekly

Are you an attractive woman with shapely legs, nice figure and a pretty
face? He's a man who will treat you well regardless of your personality.
-Detroit Metro Times

SBM is looking for a woman who likes to let her toenails grow. Marriage is
desired.
-Detroit Metro Times

Baby Maker
To women who want babies.  I, handsome, WM, will inseminate the natural way.
-Guardian

If you're short/tall, petite/large, young/elderly, blonde/red
head/brunette, I'm your man.
-Detroit Metro Times

Seeking sex-loathing insecure woman, terrified of her own body, completely
asexual, humorless, narcissistic, for boring conversation, bloody steak
dinners, unfiltered Camel smoking marathons, insensitive encounters.
Seeker: clitoral-ignorant impotent male.
-SF Weekly

Do you like claustrophoblc spaces? Anti-social young woman seeks someone
who hates the light of day. Smokers and drug takers preferred. No
vegetarians. I'm mean, nasty and give as good as I get.  Any takers?
-Guardian

No Cosmo Readers
Berkeley grad student (24, 5'8", 165lbs, dark hair, eyes, temperament)
longs to be seduced by beautiful older woman, 35-ish. My idea of foreplay
is getting undressed in front of a mirror. Hobbies include Charlie's Angels
reruns and baby seal clubbing.  You: look great in a bathing suit and can
educate me on and off the golf course.
-Guardian