"Carpet Munching" Etiquette


Dear Abby,

I have an oral sex etiquette question. While I love pleasing my lady, 
occasionally while in the middle of a "carpet munching" session, a hair gets 
caught in the back of my throat. I think hacking up a hairball like a cat on 
speed, at that special time, might be considered poor taste. How can I take 
care of business and remove the offending piece of "carpet" and keep the mood?

Sincerely, Munchy



Dear Munchy

Preparation, preparation, preparation, my son, is the key to successful carpet 
munching. Right after your lady buys you a really expensive present, cooks you 
a fine meal (even in the summer heat), and finishes mowing the lawn with the
second-hand, push lawnmower you purchased for her on your last anniversary,
simply hand her a razor and remind her that her "lower 40" also needs a good 
clip. Remember, an "idle" woman is a demon in the making.

Abby