Limericks <dirty, dirty, dirty!>

I know a tall Sunday school teacher,
Who wanted to screw the short preacher.
      She flashed him some thigh,
      But her pussy seemed high,
So he stood on a chair just to reach her.
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
There was a young girl of Angina
Who stretched catgut 'crost her vagina.
      From the love-making frock,
      (with the proper sized cock,)
Came Tocata and Fugue in D minor.
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
A mortician who practiced in Fife
Made love to the corpse of his wife.
      "How could I know, Judge?
      She was cold, dinna budge --
Just the same as she acted in life."
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
An exotic young lady named Suki,
Once danced in a troupe of kabuki,
      When asked for a fuck,
      he said, "Solly, no luck...
See here looky looky, no nuki "
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
There was a young man of Devizes,
Whose balls were of different sizes.
      His tool when at ease,
      Hung down to his knees,
Oh, what must it be when it rises!
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
There once was a lady from Thrace,
Who's corset no longer would lace,
      Her mother said "Nellie,
      There's more in your belly,
Than ever went in through your face."
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
An uptight young lady named Breerley
Who valued her morals too dearly
      Had sex, so I hear,
      Only once every year,
And she strained her vagina severely.
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
There was an old count of Swoboda,
Who would not pay a whore what he owed her.
      So, with great savoir-faire,
      She stood on a chair,
And pissed in his whiskey-and-soda.
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
Helen Keller's pussy grew tight,
Masturbating alone late at night,
      She rubbed that hot gland,
      With just her left hand,
And silently moaned with her right.
      =-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=-+-=
The nipples of Sarah Strong,
When excited, are twelve inches long.
      This embarrassed her lover,
      Who was pained to discover,
She expected no less of his dong.




Thanks to Paul Benoit